Round Two

Wow! Two years later, I'm back. I have wandered aimlessly through this thing called life. Searching, with great intent, for my purpose. Searching for my passion. Trying to make a dent in the corporate world, only to find out that the corporate world was denting me. It was changing my structure, damaging my interior. It was causing me to forget who I am and who's I am. It was causing me to chase after a dollar, instead of chasing after Him.

I have realized, over the past few weeks, that my life will never have meaning until I surrender. I have realized that my life will be useless if I don't submit. I have realized that I have to put my trust in God. I have realized that, no matter how much I run, I cannot escape the mandate that has been placed on my life.

Two years later, I'm back.

Why the Blog?

I guess you're wondering why a blog about the fresh side of romance. Well, here it goes. This blog is for those who get a little lonely and feel like they have to settle for less than what they deserve or feel like they have to give in to sexual pressures. I can remember, when I was younger, I loved to read romance novels. I could purchase one on Friday evening and by Saturday morning, I had completed the book. Why? The spirit of lust was so heavy in those books that it drove me to read page after page until the book was completed. Then I wanted to call someone and play out some of the scenes in the book. I am not proud of it, but that is what happened. Oh yeah, I considered myself to be a christian then, too.

As I matured, I realized that this was not cool. We (christians) need to be able to read about love and it's possibilities without all of the promiscuity. We also need to be able to confide in someone when we feel like we are about to slip into an area that we know God would not and does not approve of. For this reason, I decided to start this blog. I know that this will not meet the approval of some super saints, but for those of us who will admit to ourselves that we have a problem, this is for you. It's okay. We are not perfect, but our goal is to strive for perfection. My hope is that you will see love in a different, more pure way. Once you do, it will change your whole outlook on love.

My prayer is that this blog will help someone deal with some of the everyday pressures that they are faced with. Please feel free to leave a comment.

A Gift

Gazing into his eyes, I can see exactly why I am supposed to wait on the Lord. I could not have picked a better mate if I tried. His smile is infectious. His eyes sparkle, not with the intent of having his way with me. They sparkle because he knows that God has given him everything he has been searching for wrapped up in one beautiful package.

He doesn't have to prove he's a man by saying harsh words and waving his fist in the air. He's secure in himself and what he knows. God has given him yet another gift to unwrap on his wedding night. His thoughts become clear, then a single tear emerges from his eye.

Who Am I

It's time out for the same old stuff. I'm not a teenager anymore. I need more than just someone to be physical with. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to be physical with anyone. My life has changed, my priorities have changed, heck, I'm not the person I used to be. With God's help, I have realized that I am a prize package. I don't have to give myself to anyone to be loved or to feel loved.

I am beautiful. It took me years to be able to say that about myself. I can honestly look in the mirror and see more than what I used to. I used to see someone with flaws. I could name them one by one. I had them categorized from best to worst. When I added up all the flaws, they equalled UGLY. I didn't look like all the other girls. I wasn't pretty. I was smart, but not pretty. Not anymore. I had to get over myself. I had to get over the pain that I had gone through over the years. The harsh words that were said to me. The lies that were told. You never know how things are going to affect you until you are affected.

Before I can love anyone, I have to love myself. Yes, I admit that I am not 100% "fixed", but let me tell you, I'm very close. To be able to look at myself and see beauty, is something that I have never been able to do before.

I don't need a man to validate me. I don't have to give myself to anyone to be loved. I don't have to dress like a lady of the night to be recognized. My very presence commands attention. Why, because I have changed my mind about who I am. My thoughts about myself saturate my surroundings. Those around me can feel my positivity, which in turn causes them to take a look. Men not only see me as beautiful, but they see me as confident and secure.

I am beautiful.


Excerpt from an upcoming book.